quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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