the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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