don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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