Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
