all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
