And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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