please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
what is it with giant penises always finding me
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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