Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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