Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Can't talk, ducks in the car
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
