You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
