Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
