so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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