Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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