Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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