It's Friday. Sex?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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