OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
