Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
