i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
