id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
