I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
