Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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