Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
