you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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