my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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