i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
