Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
