Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
