The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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