He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
