I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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