I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
