if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
