whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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