is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
