is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
