I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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