hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
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