Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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