Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(940): View more from Texas

That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone

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(703): View more from Virginia

he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies

(703): View more from Virginia

and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"

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(860): View more from Connecticut

i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.

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(618): View more from Illinois

bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented

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(515): View more from Iowa

theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass

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(256): View more from Alabama

you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"

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(631): View more from New York

OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester

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(919): View more from North Carolina

the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point

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(813): View more from Florida

You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.

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