the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
