Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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