Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
