we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
