Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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