My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
