I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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