Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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