Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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