Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize