The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Found your dick twin last night
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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