I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
