glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
