I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
