How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I think a kid would responsible me up
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
