Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
