Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
