I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
