508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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