it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
