1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
