can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
