Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
so let's talk penis.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I lost the right to judge tonight
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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