i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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