I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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