I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
