I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
