Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
