they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
do herpes really smell.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just saw the nastiest chick.
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?