Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
