There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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