LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
