he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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