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Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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