I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
should my penis look like a turkey
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
