Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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